Fear is a liar.
I write this as I have fears of my own. There’s lots of reasons I’m afraid right now. There’s a lot of change and transitions and uncertainty in my near future and I would be a liar if I said I wasn’t afraid. But the truth is, fear is the real liar.
Fear tells you things you would never tell anyone else. Not to their face at least.
You’re a joke.
You can’t do it.
You annoy people.
Nobody likes you.
You can’t finish anything.
You’ll get lost in the crowd.
It’s not worth it.
It’s too risky.
What if you fail?
Pretty rough, huh? If I walked up to you and said these things to your face, you’d think I was the worst person ever. But these are the things we tell ourselves. Or at least these are the things I tell myself.
But they’re lies.
It’s me taking one or two things I’ve only seen glimpses of before and blowing them way out of proportion and calling them truth. Just because I’ve made one or two people upset before doesn’t mean that nobody likes me. Just because I’m not the best doesn’t mean I’m not good. Just because I’ve flaked out before doesn’t mean I lack determination. Just because there’s other people just like me doesn’t mean I’m not unique in one way or another.
I’m a liar. I lie to myself. Or at least my fears do.
And life is a vapor.
It’s here for a moment and gone the next. We’re not guaranteed another day. We’re not promised another chance. “Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless” it says in Ecclesiastes.
I live by this. The temporal nature of life is exactly what drives me. It doesn’t depress me. It motivates me.
If everything is meaningless, then why do I worry?
Why do I give into fear?
Why do I lie to myself?
Life is to short to believe the lies fear tells me.
Life is a vapor, fear is fog and we don’t know what is on the other side until we walk through it. But fog lasts longer than vapor does. Fear will be alive and well in the world long after our lives have ended. Our lives will either be lived in fear or we will walk through it while we still have the little vapor that we have.
I, for one, am choosing right now to embrace the temporal vapor of life and walk through the fog of fear, never letting it hold me back from living the abundant life I’ve been promised. We’re not given a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and discipline.
I want to walk in that.
I think it’s the only way we’ll truly find meaning.