I really feel compelled to share a lesson I learned throughout this past year that benefitted me greatly. This was a hard lesson for me to learn and I’m still not great at it, but I think it needs to be shared for other’s to hear. Without going into specifics, when it comes to some of the less central doctrines of the Christian faith (aka: the ones not about Jesus), I hold some views that some may not necessarily consider orthodox. It’s really just stuff like creation/evolution and a few political things that really have nothing to do with Jesus but they’ve somehow gotten pegged as Christian issues. However, that’s a whole other post.
Anyways, by holding some of these views, I found myself defending them throughout the first half of the year in different settings such as Bible class (yeah, I went to a Christian school), church, Starbucks conversations, and various other places like that. I was so determined that I was right that I would go to some pretty extreme lengths to win these arguments. It always got pretty heated and pushed several friendships away from me as I tried to defend my views.
Long story short, I still hold my views, however, I now understand the proper way of discussing my opinion with others and this is it:Go Heart over Head.
I promise you, no one cares what you think about anything if they don’t know what your heart is. If they think you’re heart is to be right, to win, to prove them wrong, to make yourself look good or look smart, they won’t listen to you. You will argue with them and you will look bad. Also, you have no chance of changing their mind or at least making your view seem legitimate. Instead, you need to show your heart first.
You may be having a theological conversation with someone who disagrees with you. The place both of you need to start is the understanding that you are on the same team no matter what. You both love Jesus, you both love the Bible, you both are brothers (or sisters) in Christ, but you see an issue differently. If you can start out by understanding that you are for each other rather than against, you can then have a grace-filled conversation with a brother or sister and not a heated debate with an enemy.
It’s okay to disagree, just make sure you show your heart before you show your head.
Because your heart is what people care about.